Me So Hornung, Me Love You Long Time!

Andy Hornung, aka “Horndog”¹, is a would-be James Madison without the talent or writing ability.

Shorter Andy Hornung, We Declare
A New Declaration of Independence
Hey, guys! Let’s write us a rightwing constitution and secede. How can it fail? Guys? Hellooo? Where’d you all go?

See, the thing is, where Madison created the structure of a new government using existing ideas in an exciting new blend² which was remarkably equitable for its time and more-or-less an attempt at allowing many political standpoints to flourish, Andy Hornung has basically looked at Glenn Beck and said, “Hey, we should make a government that’s like this guy!”³

Hornung’s proposed Constitution is essentially the attempted codification of rightwing talking points into government, which is ironic, given the radically non-conservative roots of the US Constitution he otherwise claims to revere.

I award Andy’s paper, “What I Did Over the Summer: Started a Constitution!” a better grade than it deserves:

F

Good that he made some effort, but Andy’s intelligence level and writing ability probably belong in the remedial class.

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¹Known by me as that, because I haz a snark.
²“Try our all new Constitution coffee! Mmm, tasty!”
³“But where will we find enough rightwing douchebags to support our new constitution and fetishize it until their ears bleed? Hmmm… Hmmm… Aha! I have it! The Libertarian Party!”