Words
It’s occurred to me recently that I use certain words and phrases which might not be totally intelligible to the general public. That’s the nice way of saying that I make up words and phrases from more-or-less nowhere and then use them frequently, without ever explaining what they actually mean.
To that end, I’ve decided to start a glossary, so that whenever I think to myself, “Oh, shit! Nobody’s going to understand that!”, I can link the confused people to this page right here.
Entries will be added as and when they arrive screaming into my brain, and in alphabetical order. I’ve left it open for comments, because sometimes other people come up with handy phrases which are so deliciously good I just can’t resist appropriating them.
A
B
C
D
Dinosaur noises, aka having a dinosaur moment
Being so annoyed that you can’t even speak and are reduced to making dinosaur noises. Go on, try making a dinosaur noise. You’ll see what I mean. Um. You might want to wait until you’re at home, if you’re currently at work or out in a public place.
Anyway, it goes “Gaaaah! Graaaaah! Heeeeehhhhhhh!” Stuff like that. You may also optionally add claw-fingers for added ’saurosity.
I am particularly prone to doing this at work when the database is misbehaving.
E
F
G
H
I
Internutter
Someone on the internet who is barking mad. Simple insanity is not enough, though, to render someone an internutter – there must also be belief in conspiracy theories of such outlandishness that they make David Icke look like a paragon of respectability. Such conspiracies include, but are not limited to, looney-tunery regarding the Federal Reserve, aliens, the Rothschilds, Jews of all persuasions, Bush and the IMF.
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Pantaloons
An expression of frustration and annoyance, as in “Oh, pantaloons!” Eesh. How to explain this one… When I was about 18 or so, there was a brief fashion for using the word pants as noun and adjective for something a bit crap. You could say something was pants, or a bunch of pants, or even just exclaim, “Pants!” It mutated into pantaloons in my case for some reason. Despite the root word having more or less disappeared from the scene in the meantime, I cling to my pantaloons. Hehehehe.
Punch and Judy policy
A piece of legislation or public policy designed to distract the public from a greater or more serious issue, usually with a certain component of outrageousness and look-behind-you stuff going on. Named after the Punch and Judy show, which depicts Mr Punch as “a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath who commits appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free”. In other words, as a politician. The Punch and Judy shows are loud and full of “look behind you!” moments, particularly involving the crocodile and the string of sausages. Basically, it serves as a perfect metaphor for a political policy conceived to distract with loudness and insanity…
Q
R
S
Screaming shitfit
Being so angry as to devolve several million years into a chimp-like creature which starts to scream and fling faeces around.
T
U
V
W
Wankbag
My own variant of douchebag. Also known as bunch of wank. Comes with the handy term, Wankbaggery, for when people are engaged and full throttle in being wankbags.
X
Y
Z
G.K. Chesterton, Psychics, Reason and the Human Brain « The Odd Blog said
[...] on the face of it is so absurd, facile and ignorant as to cause a screaming shitfit. However, I also pride myself on not taking anything on face value – I am a sceptic, and [...]
Spanking Sirius… Again « The Odd Blog said
[...] the Republicans? Yeesh. I knew you were stupid, Snotts; I didn’t realise you were also an internutter. Perhaps an institution, maybe a few; but a majority of all higher education institutions in the [...]
Rising levels of antisocial behaviour… « The Odd Blog said
[...] plan itself seems curiously devoid of even the slightest connection to reality, though, even for a Punch and Judy policy like this one. While it’s obvious that the policy is itself nothing more than a distraction [...]