The Odd Blog

And when our cubs grow / We'll show you what war is good for

Chuck Norris – Scary But Not So Smart

Posted by That Other Mike on 06/11/2007

WASHINGTON (CNN) — It could be the latest so-called Chuck Norris fact: The American people don’t choose presidents, Chuck Norris does.

The cult hero of “Walker Texas Ranger” fame said Monday he’s backing Republican Mike Huckabee for president.

Chuck Norris Endorses Mike Huckabee for President

Oh. My. Crocodile. Chuck just jumped the shark.

Oh, and guess how he did it! Through WorldNutDaily!

For those who don’t know, WorldNetDaily is a whacky site, even by the rather loose standards of internet right-wingnuttery. News that’s spun so much it keels over and vomits alongside political editorial verging on psychotic.

A few points to deconstruct, which may be helpful in understanding the whackiness which current pervades Republicans chasing “the base”:

“Though Giuliani might be savvy enough to lead people,

The mayor whose achievements prior to the WTC attacks consisted of dragging up and getting divorced? Most of what Giuliani takes credit for is the creation of someone else; crime was already falling under Mayor Dinkins, for example, and Giuliani’s much-publicised tough-on-crime pose was focussed on petty crime, which while worthy is hardly a qualification for the Presidency.

Fred Thompson wise enough to wade through the tides of politics,

Yes, because America needs another elderly actor to focus on style over substance while acting “folksy” to cover his dearth of policies.

McCain tough enough to fight terrorism

McCain’s a flipflopper. TBH, he seems to say whatever he thinks might get him a few extra votes in the moment. And while I respect his service and his ordeal in the jungle, that’s not something which necessarily makes a good Prez.

and Romney business-minded enough to grow our economy,

Huh. Romney’s fortune is built solely on a Harvard MBA and a career in business consulting thereafter; in other words, on the reputation of Harvard. That I know of, he’s never held a “real” job or owned his own business. How does that make him Mr Business? It might make him Mr Business Degree.

I believe the only one who has all of the characteristics to lead America forward into the future is ex-Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee,” Norris wrote on the conservative Web site World Net Daily.

Huckabee’s vision of the future seems to be remarkably similar to the past; he advocates an economy more reminiscent of the Gilded Age through his endorsement of the so-called “FairTax“, seems to want to progress science backwards to geocentrist creationism under the spurious banner of respecting all viewpoints and is socially somewhere in the Middle Ages, having even endorsed the display of the Ten Commandments in schools. And this is futurist? Chuck isn’t exactly showing a great deal of political savvy on this. He’s either knee-jerk supporting Huckabee for his “conservative” credentials, or is really that stupid.

A worrying tendency either way in the most dangerous man in the world.

Oh, and here’s the kicker…

“Mike is also a respected and fearless leader, and he does not cower to the cries of any majority or minority,” Norris added. “He doesn’t abandon his values for what’s expedient. Like our Founding Fathers, he’s not afraid to stand up for a Creator and against secularist beliefs.

Uh-huh. That would be the same guys who wrote the First Amendment because they hated secularism so much? The same staunch über-Christians who wrote no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States? Riiiiight. OK, Chuck. Put down the endorsement and step away. You’re not fit to give it.

My favourite part, though, is this:

Huckabee’s campaign has not responded to a request for comment.

Ouch. Looks like Chuck’s comments didn’t go down so well, after all.


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