The Odd Blog

And when our cubs grow / We'll show you what war is good for

To all incoming Feministe readers…

Posted by That Other Mike on 14/07/2008

You people ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Lottie made a post about the way that your routinely erase and negate the experiences and agency of domestic violence survivors by refusing to hear the whole story because it doesn’t fit your agenda.

Marcella Chester then replied to the post on her blog and at Feministe. Lottie replied in comments at both places, and we both noted that the passive-aggressive behaviour started with playing with her name.

And then comments along the lines of “Why are you blaming DV victims?” started. The 4th comment in the thread, in fact. Given that the first 3 were by Lottie and Marcella, it might as well be said to be the first.

Lottie’s response was to post about her own decades of suffering from DV, which was promptly ignored by everyone else involved in the thread, who were too intent on saying “Don’t blame the victim!” to notice an actual victim.

The worst thing about your behaviour today, though, is something else entirely

On the Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday thread. Lottie linked to three posts there: the domestic violence post, one about a boycott of McDonald’s and one about Internet trolling. She had made a post earlier about feminist language, but didn’t link to it in that thread.

It has received three times as many hits so far as the domestic violence post. It is not the top post on her blog and it was not linked to on Feministe.

Do you know what you’ve shown us today, Feministe readers? You’ve shown us that the issue of whether feminists use language to suppress dissent is more important to you than the story of a survivor of thirty years of domestic violence.

Way to show where your priorities are; way to show seriously you take your “advocacy” for DV victims, and yes, I did choose that word because Kyle Payne used it, and yes, I do hope it stings.

You should be ashamed of yourselves.


9 Responses to “To all incoming Feministe readers…”

  1. Lottie said

    It’s like they see that someone dared to ask why it’s an inherently harmful question (or question their theory and ideology at all) and then they stop reading. They don’t hear the argument or the reasoning behind it, they just hear something that makes them squirm a little and so they attack like a pack of fucking wolves.

    It’s sickening.

    Yeah, that one post has more hits today than I usually get for all posts combined in a day. But are they interested in the story about me, as a survivor of more than thirty years of abuse? Judging by my numbers it doesn’t look like it. For the hundreds of people who have either insulted me or read my posts and flat out ignored them, one – one – has acknowledged what happened to me and expressed an understanding of how it might affect my perspective.

    Why? Because, you see, my story and my perspective don’t line up with popular opinion or their ideology, therefore, my abuse either didn’t happen or doesn’t fucking count. They’re more interested in the stuff that has their own fucking names in it. Stories like mine might throw off their statistics.

    Some advocates, huh?

    Thanks for this, Michael. Your support means a lot to me. I love you!

  2. Mike said

    You’re my wife and I love you. You have my support no matter what. But especially when you’re right 🙂

  3. Lottie said

    You’re my wife […]

    Careful, they’ll say you’re trying to own me, that you’re part of the almighty patriarchy. And I’m sure I’ve internalized misogyny. Again, if it doesn’t line up with their preconceived notions…

    They just can’t stand to have their ideas challenged. For a bunch of people who claim to value self-examination and introspection, they certainly are lacking in the critical thinking department. Or it could be that they only value self-examination in others. They seem to think that they’re already as good as they’re going to get. Sadly, they’re probably right.

  4. Lottie said

    Another thing that just occurred to me is that all their antics today have served to confirm and validate every point I’ve made, just as I predicted.

    Wonder if they’ll ever be able to work that out?


  5. annaoverseas said

    I wonder if that has more to do with how little traffic “Shameless Self Promotion Sundays” actually generate.

    I don’t mean to say that having Lottie linked in what’s amounting to an argument isn’t going to redirect traffic in a certain way, but the lack of traffic coming from the SSS thread is probably for the same reasons I don’t get a lot of traffic or comments from them – a lot of folks leave their comment and then never come back.

  6. Lottie said

    Thing is, they’re skipping over the link in the middle of the argument and in the very post that’s being critiqued. They’re not interested. It’s not about them, so they don’t give a shit. And they can shove their feigned compassion for victims and survivors of domestic violence up their arses. The only ones they care about are the ones who do as they say.

  7. snowe said

    “And they can shove their feigned compassion for victims and survivors of domestic violence up their arses.”

    Yeah, that compassion for my mother, father, and grandmother for their experiences with abuse is completely feigned.

  8. Lottie said

    Yeah, that compassion for my mother, father, and grandmother for their experiences with abuse is completely feigned.

    Yeah, because clearly I was referring to every person on the entire planet who has ever expressed concerned for victims of domestic violence.

    Way to miss the entire fucking point! You’re obviously one of those who doesn’t read (or comprehend) all the material. If you had, you’d realize just how fucking stupid and off-base your comment actually is.

    One final word: context.

  9. annaoverseas said

    Sorry, Lottie & Mike – I hadn’t read as carefully as I should have, and I missed that part.

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