Kill the Americans!
Posted by That Other Mike on 17/08/2008
Anglers have been issued with a “kill on sight” message to combat the spread of American signal crayfish.
Environment Minister Mike Russell made the call ahead of the launch of a new leaflet on the issue at the Galloway Country Fair.
The species has become an increasingly common sight in Scotland, particularly at Loch Ken in Dumfries and Galloway.
The signal crayfish has been blamed for eating young fish and destroying their natural habitat.
Mr Russell branded it one of the most problematic, invasive species in the country alongside the grey squirrel, Japanese knotweed and American mink.
Yet another species of bloody foreigner coming over here, ruining our riverbanks and squirrels and that, and stealing our jobs! Hanging’s too good for ’em, that’s what I say! </cabbie>
It’s good to see someone actually doing something about an invasive species for a change; the notable failure of anyone to do, well, anything about the slow decline of the red squirrel until really recently has been a notable source of irritation and concern for almost anyone in the UK. Happily, culling of the grey bastards has been commenced in some parts of the country.
One of the suggestions as to what to do with the vicious little tree rats was to encourage people to eat them, which has not exactly been a huge success to date. It might be somewhat more successful with the crayfish, given that a crayfish is only an ugly lobster that lives in a river.
Get rid of the fuckers by eating them to local extinction. A strategy which has served humanity well in the past; if you don’t believe me, just ask a dodo. Oh, wait, you can’t, because we ate all of them!
Anyway, to finish up, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the B52’s, with their classic and appropriate song: