The Odd Blog

And when our cubs grow / We'll show you what war is good for

Me So Hornung, Me Love You Long Time!

Posted by That Other Mike on 04/11/2009

Andy Hornung, aka “Horndog”1, is a would-be James Madison without the talent or writing ability.

Shorter Andy Hornung, We Declare
A New Declaration of Independence
Hey, guys! Let’s write us a rightwing constitution and secede. How can it fail? Guys? Hellooo? Where’d you all go?

See, the thing is, where Madison created the structure of a new government using existing ideas in an exciting new blend2 which was remarkably equitable for its time and more-or-less an attempt at allowing many political standpoints to flourish, Andy Hornung has basically looked at Glenn Beck and said, “Hey, we should make a government that’s like this guy!”3

Hornung’s proposed Constitution is essentially the attempted codification of rightwing talking points into government, which is ironic, given the radically non-conservative roots of the US Constitution he otherwise claims to revere.

I award Andy’s paper, “What I Did Over the Summer: Started a Constitution!” a better grade than it deserves:

F

Good that he made some effort, but Andy’s intelligence level and writing ability probably belong in the remedial class.


1Known by me as that, because I haz a snark.
2“Try our all new Constitution coffee! Mmm, tasty!”
3“But where will we find enough rightwing douchebags to support our new constitution and fetishize it until their ears bleed? Hmmm… Hmmm… Aha! I have it! The Libertarian Party!”

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9 Responses to “Me So Hornung, Me Love You Long Time!”

  1. wedeclare said

    Admit it; you haven’t read either the existing US constitution, or the one we’re now drafting. In fact don’t bother admitting it; I know you haven’t. If you had, you’d realize that we’re very much the anti-violence “classical liberals” like Jefferson, Henry, Mason, and…yes…Madison.
    Go do some reading.

  2. Mike said

    Ladies and gentlemen, that was Anthony “Horndog” Hornung. He’ll be here all week, proving my point and serenading us with the wingnuttery he’s famous for. Try the veal!

  3. birthmark2 said

    Sure, he’s an idiot with no talent…but he’s so dramatic!

  4. Lottie said

    Birthmark! Good to hear from you again! 😀

  5. birthmark2 said

    Hey, Lottie. Behavin’ yourself?

  6. birthmark2 said

    Hey, wed eclare! I’ve read the US Constitution –even own a copy. Do you understand it? Any of it?

    As for your Constitution…well, I’m not partial to fantasy stories. If I wanted a new Constitution, I’d write it myself and I’d be willing to bet that it would be more concise, more fair to everyone, and more effective than anything smug Libertarians or howling Christians could put together.

  7. Lottie said

    Hey, you know me, Birthmark… 😉

  8. birthmark2 said

    Y’all need to email me and tell me how I can get in touch with you these days -email, phone, PO Box, street address…whatever.

    You remember my email addy, right?

  9. Lottie said

    Yep! I have your email address. I even save your emails. 😀

    Edit: Well, I thought I had saved your last email. Must have gotten swept away last time I cleaned house. :-p
    Anyway, email sent…

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