Words

It’s occurred to me recently that I use certain words and phrases which might not be totally intelligible to the general public. That’s the nice way of saying that I make up words and phrases from more-or-less nowhere and then use them frequently, without ever explaining what they actually mean. I also tend to use words and phrases which are used in subcultures and cliques I frequent.

To that end, I’ve decided to start a glossary, so that whenever I think to myself, “Oh, shit! Nobody’s going to understand that!”, I can link the confused people to this page right here.

Entries will be added as and when they arrive screaming into my brain, and in alphabetical order. I’ve left it open for comments, because sometimes other people come up with handy phrases which are so deliciously good I just can’t resist appropriating them.

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A

Argleyarglebargle
Used as a filler for any random, slobbering word salad. For a live example, see Sarah Palin every time somebody asks her something more complicated than “What’s your name?”.

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B

Blake’s Law
Blake’s Law is an adage that frequent Pharyngula commentator Blake Stacey formulated in 2007, based in concept on Godwin’s Law. The law states:

In any discussion of atheism (skepticism, etc.), the probability that someone will compare a vocal atheist to religious fundamentalists increases to one.

As has become the tradition with Godwin’s Law, the person who compares the atheist to a religious fundamentalist is considered to have lost the argument.

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C

Crazypants
Being crazy enough to wear your pants (that’s underbritches to you Murrikans) on the outside – a level of crazy which goes beyond the normal levels of background lunacy which we expect as a society. For example, someone who reads horoscopes is not crazypants, as this is normal background lunacy, the equivalent of less than a rad of insanity radiation; someone who reads horoscopes, takes them seriously and makes life-altering plans based on them is crazypants. In short, if we continue with the radiation analogy, crazypants is downwind of Chernobyl.

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D

Dinosaur noises, aka having a dinosaur moment
Being so annoyed that you can’t even speak and are reduced to making dinosaur noises. Go on, try making a dinosaur noise. You’ll see what I mean. Um. You might want to wait until you’re at home, if you’re currently at work or out in a public place.

Anyway, it goes “Gaaaah! Graaaaah! Heeeeehhhhhhh!” Stuff like that. You may also optionally add claw-fingers for added ‘saurosity.

I am particularly prone to doing this at work when the database is misbehaving.

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E

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F

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G

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H

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I

Internutter
Someone on the internet who is barking mad. Simple insanity is not enough, though, to render someone an internutter – there must also be belief in conspiracy theories of such outlandishness that they make David Icke look like a paragon of respectability. Such conspiracies include, but are not limited to, looney-tunery regarding the Federal Reserve, aliens, the Rothschilds, Jews of all persuasions, Bush and the IMF.

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J

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K

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L

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M

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N

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O

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P

Pantaloons
An expression of frustration and annoyance, as in “Oh, pantaloons!” Eesh. How to explain this one… When I was in my teens there was a brief fashion for using the word pants as noun and adjective for something a bit crap. You could say something was pants, or a bunch of pants, or even just exclaim, “Pants!” It mutated into pantaloons in my case for some reason. Despite the root word having more or less disappeared from the scene in the meantime, I cling to my pantaloons. Hehehehe.

Punch and Judy policy
A piece of legislation or public policy designed to distract the public from a greater or more serious issue, usually with a certain component of outrageousness and look-behind-you stuff going on. Named after the Punch and Judy show, which depicts Mr Punch as “a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath who commits appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free”. In other words, as a politician. The Punch and Judy shows are loud and full of “look behind you!” moments, particularly involving the crocodile and the string of sausages. Basically, it serves as a perfect metaphor for a political policy conceived to distract with loudness and insanity…

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Q

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R

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S

Screaming shitfit
Being so angry as to devolve several million years into a chimp-like creature which starts to scream and fling faeces around.

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T

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U

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V

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W

Wankbag
My own variant of douchebag. Also known as bunch of wank. Comes with the handy term, Wankbaggery, for when people are engaged and full throttle in being wankbags.

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X

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Y

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Z