Mildly Amusing

One of my recent search terms is:

different grr noises

Whoever was searching for that just made my morning; it’s such a wonderfully specific and utterly crazy thing to search for.

Hahahaha…

Thanks, Misha.

An American businessman gets an audience with the pope. He says, “I want to donate $1 million to the church.” The pope says, “thank you. It will be used wisely.”

The businessman says, “you have to do something for me.” The pope asks “what do you have in mind?” The man says, “you say a prayer in the morning, ‘give us this day our daily bread.’ I want you to change it to beer.”

The pope says that is impossible. The man says, “I’ll give you $2 million dollars.” The pope refuses. The man says, “I’ll give you $3 million dollars.” The pope still refuses. The man says, “I’ll give you $4 million dollars.” The pope says, “the prayer is ‘give us this day our daily bread,’ and I will not change it.”

The businessman says, “how much are you getting from the bread people?”

Heheheh. Poop.

From the fantastic Chainsawsuit.

Hahahahaha…

SMBC Nails It Again

Seriously, Zach Weiner at SMBC is really paying attention. It’s like he did a Watergate number on the O’Donnell campaign’s secret plan of action.

Science and Religion

It’s old news, but still funny…

This Blog Officially Loves Stewart Lee

I’ve found him funny since he was in Fist of Fun, but this clip is just genius. Epic, epic win.

If you didn’t grow up watching Jim’ll Fix It, you won’t get the last bit, but it made me laugh like a big fool falling down a drain during a rainstorm.

Oh, my sides!

My aching sides… If I laughed any harder, I’d give myself some kind of hernia and internal bleeding.

I was going to write a detailed critique of the ridiculousness of Joey Nelson’s post here, but I think it speaks for itself.

Next up, definitive proof that Harry Potter really, really can do magic!

I gotta have that cowbell, Baby!

So, my wife and I were talking about straplines for our blogs. She’s a big fan of House, the medical comedy-drama starring Hugh Laurie, and was looking through various quotations for something suitable, and we were laughing at the funny moments.

She also asked me what the hell my strapline meant, and it transpired that she’d never seen the famous cowbell sketch! After considering and ultimately rejecting divorce, I decided to hunt down the piece in question; it’s one of the best pieces of sketch comedy in the world, and anyone who doesn’t think it’s funny should be taken out and shot.

To set the scene – the following is a parody of VH1’s Behind the Music, and is about the events around the recording of Don’t Fear The Reaper.

Enjoy…

Link for those who can’t see the video…

Hehehe…

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. ”

So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Bubba’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Bubba says.

“President Clinton,” his boss quickly retorts.

“Yes,” Bubba says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”

And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies.

“Sure!” says Bubba. “My folks are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’ side, Bubba asks him, “What happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Bubba?’

Stumbled onto it here.