Anti-Carnival

So I see these blog carnivals being advertised all over the place, all of the time. The first time I saw one being touted, I had a big old WTF moment, which I think is fair enough – I don’t see how a bunch of big old link-farm-ish posts equate to a carnival, even metaphorically. It doesn’t, unless you only have the slimmest grasp of figurative speech. Yeah, sure, there’s a big bunch of crap moving from place to place in sequence. So? Why aren’t you calling it nomad blogging or something? Or, I don’t know, blog-herding?

But, whatever; it’s called a carnival rather than anything else, and we’ll all just have to live with that, won’t we?

You may have gathered from all this that I’m not totally fond of the concept, and you’d be right. It’s basically a way for people to make nice with each other while they reuse ancient pages for things besides chip papers. It’s one thing to do link round-ups of stuff you’ve found interesting, but carnivals seem just an excuse to recycle old material. While doing air kisses. Mwah. Mwah.

To register my disdain for blog carnivals, I’ve decided to start the first* anti-carnival. It will be dedicated to one particular theme, as are carnivals, but with one important distinction – instead of heaping praise and friendship and mutual linking, it will be a cavalcade of abuse and scorn and disdain raining down upon the arseholes of the internet, of which there are uncountable numbers.

Which, coincidentally, is the theme; the full title will be the Anti-Carnival of Arseholes and Douchebags, with a strapline of Fuck You, Internet.

I will be taking applications from now until this time next week, with the aim of publishing the anti-carnival a week from Friday; all are welcome to sneer at whoever deserves it, although there is already a little list sitting on my desk. Figuratively speaking.

Nothing is off-limits – pick anyone you want. The only stipulation is that said person must be obviously and provably an arsehole or douchebag.

Go get ’em.

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* That I know of, anyway. If someone else has done it first, well done, thanks, and let’s meet for lunch sometime to plot the destruction of humanity or something.