Addendum: An open letter to a fake doctor

Dear “Dr” Kate :

Following my previous post, I thought I’d check in, see if maybe you’d actually, you know, grown a brain cell or two in the meantime.

Unfortunately, this seems not to have happened – you’re still an ignorant douchesack. Have fun propagating your failed memes!

Love,

The Reality-Based Community

Saturday Afternoon Music

Yes, it’s more Vampire Weekend. Shut up, it’s my blog and I like them. So neener!

Lyrics below.

Me So Hornung, Me Love You Long Time!

Andy Hornung, aka “Horndog”¹, is a would-be James Madison without the talent or writing ability.

Shorter Andy Hornung, We Declare
A New Declaration of Independence
Hey, guys! Let’s write us a rightwing constitution and secede. How can it fail? Guys? Hellooo? Where’d you all go?

See, the thing is, where Madison created the structure of a new government using existing ideas in an exciting new blend² which was remarkably equitable for its time and more-or-less an attempt at allowing many political standpoints to flourish, Andy Hornung has basically looked at Glenn Beck and said, “Hey, we should make a government that’s like this guy!”³

Hornung’s proposed Constitution is essentially the attempted codification of rightwing talking points into government, which is ironic, given the radically non-conservative roots of the US Constitution he otherwise claims to revere.

I award Andy’s paper, “What I Did Over the Summer: Started a Constitution!” a better grade than it deserves:

F

Good that he made some effort, but Andy’s intelligence level and writing ability probably belong in the remedial class.

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¹Known by me as that, because I haz a snark.
²“Try our all new Constitution coffee! Mmm, tasty!”
³“But where will we find enough rightwing douchebags to support our new constitution and fetishize it until their ears bleed? Hmmm… Hmmm… Aha! I have it! The Libertarian Party!”

Remedial Education is Definitely Needed

“Dr” Kate thinks that Congress needs remedial education about the meaning of “natural-born citizen”. She thinks someone else needs remedial education on that topic? Now, there’s some irony for you!

“Dr” Kate, Remedial Education for Congress: Natural Born Citizen
If it ain’t White, it ain’t right!

Here’s the thing, Kate – you’re just wrong. In fact, scratch that. You’re so far from being right that wrong is a little town in the distance where people will stare at you in disbelief and mutter under their breath, and where setting foot into the local tavern will result in a sudden hushed silence while the jukebox plays muted country and western in the background.

You’re so far off the truth that even 200 years of jurisprudence, Constitutional opinion and the views on the subject of the people you claim to revere won’t convince you. Vattel is, in Constitutional terms, worth less than a bucket of warm piss – not unlike your own views on the subject.

So, yeah, I would say that remedial education on the subject is needed. You got that part right; the question of who needs it, of course, is another matter entirely.

An Open Letter to Joe Lieberman

Dear Joe:

Just join the fucking Republican Party already.

Love,

Mike

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P.S. Fuck you, you opportunistic, immoral douchebag.

P.P.S. While I still think Gore was robbed in Florida, the fact that you never ended up as Veep almost makes up for it. You’re Connecticut’s version of Sarah Palin.

Saturday Afternoon Music

Ladies and Gents, Vampire Weekend’s Ottoman.

No video per se, just the music; I don’t think there’s an official video, but I’m prepared to be wrong on that one.

On the way out? You should be so lucky, Bibleboy…

Shorter Joey Nelson, Spiritual Questions
Is Evolution On Its Way Out?
My strawmen, let me show you them.

I’m somewhat in awe of Joey Nelson’s post – I’ve never seen so many misconceptions, ignorance and plain old FAIL about evolution gathered together in one place before. Even AiG can’t do it as well as Joey has here.

Joey has taken internet discourse to a whole new level – by writing a post which actually fisks itself.

That is teh awesum.

Oh, yah.

I’m in Minnesota, with Lottie and the Boy, and it makes me happy. That’s all I have to say – it’s really that simple

We’re staying with the lovely and generous Bonnie and Dale, who’ve been better family to us than anyone we coincidentally happen to have genetic links with – thanks, Bonnie and Dale Anything else is just an embellishment to what I really and honestly mean – you have my full and complete gratitude, and always will.

All that being said, I just wanted to say all of that, and post a song. Enjoy!

Mighty White of You!

Ok, it might seem like I’m picking on BlartBlartHollywood here, and that’s because I am.

Shorter Michael McGoober, True Colors: A Race Discussion With Isaiah Washington:
In race relations, it’s the negroes who are racist. A Black guy was kinda sorta mean to me, and it’s racism! When will the boot of the Black Man be off the neck of the poor, misunderstood Aryan?

The comments are especially nasty:

Capt_Kirk
I’m a taxicab driver in the ghettos of Philadelphia and I’m sick and tired of all of this “racists” talk.

I see how these people live. I see how these people act. Enough already. They have lost all credibility in my opinion due to their behavior.

OK, racism aside, who says “taxicab”? And Kirk, why? You could’ve been driving a taxicab among the stars, getting it on with hot green alien women! Why leave all that for a life as a wingnut?

Bohemond
Emulate Wellington: “Publish and be damned.” So your ancestors were slaves? Get over it. Grow up and stop whining. My give-a-damn is broken.

We were good enough to free your ancestors from slavery, eventually. What else do you want, boy?

Old_Tom
On the subject of history, does it matter to any of these knuckleheads that Barack Obama has absolutely no genetic connection to American slavery (except possibly on his white mother’s side)? As the descendant of an East African Muslim tribesman, he has no more connection to the West African Animist blacks who were brought over here as slaves, than I have to the Norwegians because my ancestors came from Italy.

Which means Obama isn’t Black, not one bit, nuh-uh, no how.

teh_Mob
I had this very conversation with a black friend of mine. She was ranting and raving about slavery and how terrible it was (I agreed) and how it was responsible for the terrible place blacks were in today (I disagreed) I went into a long detailed explanation that included welfare and the cycle of poverty and I’m sure it sounded like yada yada yada to her until I asked a simple question. If your great great great …however many great grandparents had not been brought to this country as slaves….where would you be living now? Would you be in America working two jobs while you finish college or would you be living in Darfur running from rape squads and feeding your children ants and mud? Perhaps you should thank whoever it is that you thank that your ancestors endured what they did, and that people fought to see that you could be free…and stop your whining. Conversation over.

Yeah! Why aren’t you grateful that your ancestors were slaves? It means you get to be American! You should be thanking us for slavery and Jim Crow – at least you get to be here!

Exceptionally Stupid

The attempts of wingnuts to jump onboard popular culture, especially in the States, are a little puzzling to me, I must admit. They try to get in and ride the wave of popularity to push their political agenda by dressing up in the clothes of pop culture – they try to be hip, ironic and cool (yeah, I know).

They’ve been trying for years now, so why is it that they’re still so full of FAIL?

Shorter Andrew Blart-Blart, Bigot in Hollywood:
Everything America does is special, wonderful and better than anywhere else. If you don’t agree, you hate America.

Via some idiot.